Dear Mister X,

I am directing this letter to you, but unfortunately, I cannot send it to you. If I would do that, you would use it against me, to show what kind of a **** I am. You act like you are the victim here, and even after all you've done against me, I still want to preserve your privacy.

You accussed me that I never told my Guild why you left. You want to hear the reason why? Well, mainly because I didn't want people to think bad about you. Yes, you read that right, I wanted people to preserve their image of you, and not think I was trying to make you look bad. I know you didn't deserve this kindness from my side, protecting you and giving you the possibilities to say things yourself. And what did you do? You stabbed me in the back! Yet, I still remained calm... and gave you oppertunities to apologise and come back. The mod space would be reserved for you. Yet, you did nothing... and now come yelling like you are the victim.

This is how I saw what all had happened:

When we started our collaboration, you were a wonderful addition to the team. You had experience, you knew how to act and we were on one simple line of thought. I never worried! Then all of a sudden, you started making posts which portrayed how important another Guild for you was. Sure, I understood that; those were your friends! But actually, after that, it went down hill.

It was getting more than obvious, that you chose that guild over the one you were modding for. Still, things like that can happen, and usually that's not such a bad thing. It's very normal that you can mod 2 guild who have a different perspective.

Obviously, you started thinking that my guild should have the same rules as that other one. When I refused to kick out 600 members, you showed you didn't have faith in me any more. Still, I was hoping that was temporary.

But alas, you showed more and more you had no faith in me any more, and openly chose your other guild over mine. You seemed to be surprised that people complained to me about that; a mod should be dedicated to the guild he was modding! When I told you this, you immediately pointed fingers; and even accussed the wrong person as well.

When I got kicked out of your guild, I was upset. Sure, you would be too! Never a warning and then BAM, kicked out. Yes, I made a mistake by venting my anger on my own guild. I even apologised for that! OPENLY! I bowed down before the entire Guild, and apologised.

But apparantly, that wasn't enough. A member from your guild started showing me the things that were said about me. While peace had returned in my guild, your guild kept on bashing me. I decided to let it go. I made a mistake and of course, I accepted the punishment.

And still that wasn't enough! Things suddenly went downhill within months, and your remarks to people were getting less sensitive and were so unlike you. People complained, but I defended you. After all that had happened, I kept on defending you. After all, mods and guildleader should stick together, right?

You asked me to unmod inactive mods. After lots of complaining, I decided to give voice to your request. I send out a PM, asking mods to become more active or else I would be forced to terminate our collaboration. And what did you reply: "You can't just threaten people to unmod them if they won't become more active!"......... please read your response again. Then read again what you requested... I did what you requested! You wanted me to de-mod inactive mods, and I send out a warning instead of de-modding without a warning!

Unlike you, I do believe in second chances.

But the worst had yet to come. You started to vent remarks that could considered close to trolling. You said someone who commited suicide was selfish. True, suicide is always selfish. But WHY were they selfish because of you? Because your train wouldn't ride because of that! Not because of the scars the train engeneer would get (that reason came way later than that post), not because of the people they left behind... but because your train would not ride! And yet you were MOST surprised that people didn't react well on that. Well DUH!

Then you stated you would break up with your girlfriend if she take a motorcycle. While you are most entitled to do what you please with your girlfriend when it's within law, you were once again most surprised people thought that was the worst reason to break up with a girlfriend. After all, you didn't seem to be worried she would hurt herself, or even that she would drive too fast. No, you stated that if she would take a motorcycle, she would immediately become like those irritating youngsters in your block. Of course, humans change when they get a new plaything, and go from sweet-sweet to the devil itself. *sarcasm*

Still, it was your opinion, and you were allowed to voice that. You did seem most surprised that people reacted like they did though; but hey, you say something and people respond. Action = Reaction. And how strange that they don't agree with your points of view....

And then THE moment came. You said, openly, that all marroccan people were.... I won't state that here. Because it was the most racist thing I had ever heard from you. In the whole post, you were venting how you hated youngsters. It was very close to the PG-13 rule, but the racist line, I believe 5 or 6 words was what crossed it.

Naturally, I couldn't accept that. I removed that tiny little line, but left the rest of your post intact. I removed 5 or 6 little words. Let me repeat that: I let your entire trolling post intact, but removed 5 or 6 racist words.
And when I confronted you about it, and told you that you, as a mod, had to be an example...

Oi, where to begin! You only bitched. "I don't give a damn!" You kept on saying. "I don't care at all!" Sure you cared, otherwise you wouldn't have PMed me 20 times why I was such a terrible guild leader. In denial anyone?!

But still, I wanted to see if we could still work together. You suddenly posted in the Guild you were going to leave for a while, without stating a reason. Out of the blue, you stated that, making guild members confused. But, it was not my place to explain that we were having a disagreement because I thought it was NOT okay to call marroccan people what you called them.

I asked if everything was all right; you seemed kind of edgy lately. You said everything was fine. I respected that, and decided to give you some time to calm down. We would resolve this, later...

Then I got a PM from the member both our Guilds share. In your own guild, you appearantly said that I was the worst leader ever, that you've had it, what was wrong with me, and that I suddenly asked if you were having a depression.

........ Excuse me? I never asked if you were having a depression! And if caring about my mods makes me the worst leader ever, then guilty as charged! I only asked if everything was all right and I respected your 'No'.

I only said to you: "Pot calling kettle black I see." You didn't understand it. You were totally bashing me on your own forum. Let me repeat that: you were totally bashing me on your own forum.

And what did I do? I did nothing! I didn't want people to think what a lowlife racist scum you were, and didn't explain why we were having this disagreement. Unlike you, I didn't talk behind your back. Okay, now I am, but I have to get rid of this anger somehow. And my blog is my own thing. Use it against me if you like, but then be brave enough to show ALL that I've said!

You are not the great angel you pretend to be. No, the next day, you suddenly had left the Guild! You hadn't informed me; I had to hear it from a member! And what did I do? I openly said this was a surprise for me (truth!) and respected your choice (truth again!)... I even wished you luck!

But still you were bashing me around my back. And the member we shared? She/He told me she/he was afraid to show he/she was also a member of my guild, and left. You scared one of your own members. Way to go. Aren't you a great friend then?
Still, that member kept me informed on how you thought about me. What a champ you are. Never directly into my face, but only bashing me behind my back.

And now... now I suddenly get accused, like YOU said once, that I was a dictator to my guild. That I never listened to what people said. Let's see...

- My mod asked me to unmod unactive mods. When I did that, I was accused of threatening mods by that same mod
- Members said there were too many inactive topics. When I started deleting topics, people complained AFTERWARDS that they wanted to keep the topics.
- Members stated we needed a Mod's only forum. I created that, and now get accussed to we use it to secretly bash members behind their backs. The mod forum is the most inactive one of all!
- In the mod forum, we've discussed if we would take a Recycle Bin or not; to keep old inactive topics. But, since the mod forum is mods only, it seems like we're not doing a thing at all!
- People told me the main forum was in need of a restyle. They just never said WHAT was wrong and I had to dive into a sea to find that one little ring. Now that my MOD, yes, my MOD has given me some suggestions, I finally get the idea what is wrong, and am starting to change that. And what do I hear? "The worst Guild home ever!". I'm not even finished damnit! See the under construction image?! That means I'm not done yet!
- People keep on saying that I never listen to my members... maybe because most of them were either:
a - only saying SOMETHING was wrong, or
b - were explaining so much that the point of what was wrong was totally vanished.

So, I'm doing the best I can, yet I get bashed. If my members would complain, it would be enough. But nooooooo, you simply had to come back and show prove why I was the worst guild leader ever.
You quoted the people who left my guild and said that my guild was the most boring place ever. Sure, they have the right to leave; that is even the Guild policy! You don't have to post to be a member! Everyone is welcome, no matter their post count.

And now, I suddenly hear from OTHERS that one I respected is angry with me. I PMed him, apologising if that rumor was true, but also asking what I did wrong then?

And now you also say that I should make active members a mod............ Let's see.... if I did that, we would have like 20 mods by now. Oh, and stating that I said other people were not trustworthy was a low stab man. I NEVER said I couldn't trust certain members. Maybe I wasn't convinced of their capabilities to be a mod, but I always stated I would keep them in mind.

I think I should wind this rant up. Let me just say one more thing: while you kept on bashing me behind my back, I always respected your wish and made sure people didn't think bad of you. I NEVER bashed you.

You are making this more personal then I saw this.

You are officially acting like a forum troll. Well done, my friend. Way to stab someone who respected you in the back.

And if you show this to the world, please be mature enough to show this ALL and not just certain segments. I can't be mature about this any more... and yet I will.... because I still won't post this on my forum.

Because I still don't want people to think bad about Mister X. After all he has done to me, I still want to preserve the respect others have for him.

And if THAT makes me the worst Guild Leader ever... then damnit; GUILTY AS CHARGED!.