All Ph34r T3h Ninja Teddybear @ http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/33601556/

And again that feeling of being betrayed (in a mild form) by one of those who I considered a friend. It is as if I am not allowed to have 1 fine day any more. Each time my day looks okay (no matter how much rain and how much the dinner from the restaurant messes me up as usual (somehow I can't deal with eating outside the house O.o)), there always has to happen something that makes me feel betrayed by some friends.

There are only a few friends I can still count on. And those are the ones I've all seen in real life as well.

Online friendships are just as fake as pixel smiles.

With a few exceptions perhaps. (Rocket Stevo is a good example of an exception)

First nodding yes and then screaming no is a good example on how fake such a friendship can be.

Plus, I seem to attract pervs all of a sudden >_<

Great moment of today:

During Swimming Class, one of the kids was overreacting, and complained she was tired after swimming only 5 minutes *rolls eyes*

She: Can't Mister J. give class?
Me: *wicked thoughts: Mister J? Well, he's even worse than I am! And he's my dad so I know how crzay he can get* Suuuure, I'll get him!!!!

After 15 minutes:

She: Mister J? .....Can Miss Kitt return please?

MUAHAHAHAHAHA! - Her mother almost rolled from her chair when she heard that, and so did I XD Biggest compliment of the day!

And this is funny if you are Dutch:

Hij: Ik heb zo slecht geslapen; er zat een grolse kater onder mijn raam te krijsen
Ik: Een GROLSE Kater??! Zijn die verdomde krengen nou ook al aan de bier!!?

(No offense to Cat Lovers)

I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed

For those who have no idea what that means: I FINALLY passed my internship, which means I can FINALLY graduate. I just have 5 essays left. Only 5!!

The world has never looked this awesome.

Maybe a new layout will cheer me up. It's more brighter, and sorry peeps, only works for the 1024 screenresolution. It took me an hour to get the background matching. Why does it always look AWESOME at my pc, and when I convert it, it looks like.... this?

Tomorrow Moment Supreme.

Very stressed and nervous.

Yeah

This is the deal people. I'm stressed as well as pissed.

If you don't know why I'm pissed, be wise and don't ask. Just let me cool down.

If you do know why I'm pissed, either pick my side or don't let me hear your opinion. Just let me cool down.

If you know why I'm stressed, either let me know, or don't mention it. There is nothing that can be done about it. I can only do my best.

If you don't know why I'm stressed, then simply don't ask. Telling you what is going on only makes me more stressed.

Today is actually one of the worst days of my life. I want to forget it as soon as possible. What stung me most is that I found out 2 people are lying to me. They don't know I know that, but they are lying. Confronting them only means hell breaks lose, and I already had to face enough for the past few days.

I just want to ban this day from my memory.

Just... forget it.

Please tell me that I'm still allowed to give my own opinion here. I'm frustrated, I'm pissed, and I feel like I can't even talk about it. I feel like I have only 1 person behind me, and the rest all thinks that I'M the arrogant b****. I expected a bit more sympathy. I apologised because I knew that was the right thing to do, and I apologised as a Guild Owner, but hell no, it will take a while before I can send the same apology personal. Or maybe never at all.

It was a personal attack.

They should understand I'm pissed about it, but no, instead they call me arrogant. While in my perspective, THEY are the arrogant ones.

And if I can't even write my opinion down here any more, then hell, I'm going to quit all Internet. Because what kind of fun is internet, if I'm being ATTACKED for sharing my opinion? Yes, I was pissed. Anyone else would be pissed in the same situation. But instead of solving it, they just add more fire.

And then being stressed for Monday does NOT help at all.

I'm freaking pissed. Pissed, Pissed, Pissed.

And I just KNOW someone who knows what this is about will read this and then will go screaming: "LOOOOK! Look how arrogant she is!"

But showing others proof about how arrogant I am, only proves how arrogant you are yourself.

I'm pissed, and if I can't even vend in my own personal blog any more, then where the hell can I?

Because hell, only 1 person supports me in this case. Just one freaking person takes my side in this personal attack.

I expected more of my friends.

I have a lot of frustration within me. It started with the not working mp3 player, followed by the stress for coming Monday, as well as realising how much I have left to do for 2 essays, while I have little time, that is followed by the remark: "And for monday, you will do whatever you can! Like dressing more feminine!", which followed a discussion with someone else which was close to a personal attack, which is now followed by me being kicked out of a Gaia Guild because of inactivity (then you should have tried to make it more intresting - plus, you didn't even give me a warning!).

So yeah, I'm stressed and frustrated.

And anxious to call my Comic Store tomorrow and ask if Elquest - The Discovery 3 is out. Which is followed by a journey to that store and buying it, while I actually have little time to do so.

Oh, and I just recalled I STILL need to do the dishes.

Stressed? Me? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

*goes hiding in a corner*

What do you get when Kitty Ocean goes to Antwerp (that's in Belgium - Biggest Harbor in the world and all) and finds an Anime/ Manga store? You will get a Kitty Ocean who spends money on merchandise. I spend way too much, but you can't get this anywhere else!!

Sailor Moon Magnets

Sailor Moon Keychains

Hazuki Doremi Cellphone Cord

Well, after returning 2 MP3 players, the 3rd seems to be working fine. I took it to work today, to listen while I was walking my route. I actually felt less tired at the end. I guess music does help while working; it's mentally better. Yeah, I sometimes need things to make it LOOK like I'm going faster, while I'm still at the same speed.
Like packing in the mail while you are still busy, instead of leaving it where it belongs.

And the mp3 I went all crazy about a couple of posts ago (Thijs van Leer - Bolero, but then the original song) is appearantly called: Nada Sousou... at least that's what the file name says. I know where I downloaded it, so that mystery is solved. But other than that, I have NO idea who it is.

But it is lovely.

Seriously, people, SERIOUSLY! What the heck do Americans learn about the Netherlands??! I got a mail from a girl I've been mailing with for about 3 years now. She's nice, she's smart, she's cool, she's a friend. And yet, what does she mail today?

"If I go to the Netherlands one day, I would love to see the wind mills, the tulips, the aprons and the clogs."

Do you Americans want to kill me??! The people who know me, know that nothing makes me feel insulted more than remarks like that. Yet I have to stay nice because she obviously doesn't know any better. But seriously people, STEREOTYPE!

Which Aprons?! Which Clogs?! About 100 people in the Netherlands still wear those clothes most people think we still wear. And why do they wear it? FOR THE TOURISTS!

Let's see, what am I wearing today? Mm... white socks (so sue me), black pants, a white shirt with the image "Get your own N1nj4 St3v0 Doll" printed upon it, but already halfly faded away, and my mom's dark grey sweater (because we have the same size, because she's not around, because it's a great sweater, because I'm lazy to pick something myself). Shoes? At this moment slippers, but soon I will replace them with Nike shoes (going to Belgium with my friend J-guy! Weee! But first returning my flunky mp3 player to the store- bought it monday damn it!).

Let's see... how many pair of clogs do I have?
None.
And I will kick everyone very hard who dares to bring a pair inside the house.

Let's see... how many of those typical aprons do I have?
None.
And I won't wear one unless I get lots of money or my life will depend on it.

Those traditional clothes are cool, I admit that. It's a touch of history. What steams me up is that people, and appearantly mostly Americans, still think we live in clothes like that!!! That we are stuck in history! ARGH!

Oh, and Tulips... they are FLOWERS people. Originally from India, I even believe. So what Dutchies had a lot of them, in the past. And maybe in the past they did crazy thinks for them, but not any more. It's not like you will find a tulip every 10 metres. And yes, I have tulips in my garden. I love tulips. I just despise the stereotype connected to it.

Oh, and appearantly, because Germany and France used to dub EVERYTHING (movies, cartoons, tv series), appearantly the Netherlands does that as well. When will people still get it through their thick skull we only dub things that are meant for small children. You know, like cartoons. And some cartoons aren't even dubbed, but subbed. And most movies, when dubbed, are also available in English (or the other original language).

I recently saw Ice Age 2. SUBBED. English with Dutch Subtitles. I saw McLeod's Daughter's yesterday. SUBBED. English with Dutch Subtitles. I also saw an episode of My Life as a Teenage Robot not to long ago. DUBBED, because it's a CARTOON.

Seriously, I keep on telling this to certain friends, but they just won't understand it. I'm so glad most of my friends do get it, but some I just want to drag over here, and let them have a culture shock. Because then they will find out we wear normal clothes like they do, have normal lives like they do, and are far more advanced then they think.

Dutch people are not stupid! We built the Delta Works. We have Rotterdam. That is either the biggest harbor IN THE WORLD, or the second biggest (haven't followed it lately; Antwerp is big as well; maybe bigger now? Could be. Don't pin me down on the fact it it's the biggest XD. It was that for years anyway.). Do you know the electronica brand Phillips? Began in the Netherlands.

Dutch people do NOT live in the past. Oh, and btw, the girl who caused this rant also said: "please don't take me to WW2 places; that would make me sad."
Come to think of it, then she shouldn't come at all. Since the entire Netherlands was owned by Germany. And each city has a memorial statue at least. But you know, we rebuilt a lot of it, what was destroyed. Doesn't mean we forget about it.

Nopes. 4th of May is coming. Death Memorial Day. The day where we think about those who died in WWII (as the correct form would be - in my eyes anyway =P), and remember we should NEVER allow such a thing to happen again.

This was my rant.
Kitty Ocean
Signing off....

It's getting crazy! Crazy I tell ya! Ever since sunday, I keep on being hungry, no matter what! Luckily I'm 'stupid' enough to sometimes simply forget to eat, otherwise I would be stuffing myself all day! But seriously, I have 2 large meals a day (vegetarian for a few days because I wanted it) and a few little snacks, but I keep on feeling like I haven't eaten a thing!

I usually feel like this when I haven't eaten a thing. Have I managed to found vegetarian food that gets disgested easily, like fish? Oh great, just great. Kitt goes veggie for a few days, and gets repaid with the feeling of an empty stomach. Figures.......

Oh yeah, and I've been having my scary dream lately. In my dream, I wake up, but only see the first thing I saw, no matter how often I close my eyes again. It's like my eyes are a DVD player, and the screen simply freezes for a LONG while. And I always see the same: my arm that's on a matrass, but then from my eye's point of view. The first thing I see when I wake up.
At first it was very scary, but now, after the 3rd time, it's getting annoying AND starts to bother me.

Anyway, my mp3 player sometimes refuses to go off or on. I just got the thing a day! What the heck am I doing wrong?! ...... Yes, people, I read the manual. It says: "slide the button to the left until the screen goes on/off". But pushing it for more than a minute can't be right! So, I contacted the help desk by e-mail.

It still bothers me that I saw Card Captor Sakura and Naruto Bootlegs in two toy stores (yup, 2 now). They are plain simple and cheap Bubble Swords (even though one is shaped like wand), but the images are clearly Naruto and Card Captor Sakura. The Naruto one is slightly changed but heck, even though I dislike the series (sorry guys! Doesn't appeal to me!) I can STILL recognise him and his metallic ninja headband. Kinda all over the net you know. And the CCS image was an almost direct image from an Anime Image! It's not even a thing that is used in either anime!
I contacted 1 store, but they haven't contacted me back yet. I doubt they will do anything about it. But people! Bootlegs are illegal! And I expected them to be in cheap stores, but NOT in 2 of the biggest stores of the Netherlands! It's just like all those cheap Pikachu knock-offs. EVERYONE knows they are illegal/ bad copies/ plagiasm (or whatever it's called), but because it's a TINY bit altered, people can sell it.
Doesn't copyright mean a thing to those evil people??!!
........... What I was doing in a toy store in the first place? I like browsing there. So sue me =P.

And I'm starting to consider an online publisher for my Book Forever Young. If I will go for that site, I will let you know. And not much later I will tell you the ISBN number so you can try and order it in your own local bookstore, instead of having to buy it online. If that doesn't work, you can still buy it online.

Forever Young is coming.
And I'm getting a tiny bit of inspiration again as well, for book 3.

Be aware. (Man I can't sound all dramatic with Card Captor Sakura Ending - Groovy Love Songs in German - Du bist meine freund - or something like that - as a background tune XD)

The worst case scenario is about to happen.

And it will get a LOT worse afterwards!

....... or maybe it's for the better?

Oh yeah, and for those who pre-read book 3: expect a return of the Harbringer. In a new form. I discussed it with Uumie. She said I should use my original idea and go for it. No matter how crazy it will turn out to be XD

"Your dream will cause betrayal yet loyalty. It will pave the path to disaster as well as fullfill your dreams. Your actions will determine the future, which will be filled with light yet darkness. Follow your heart, and let the tears and smiles come to you."

Oh yeah. A prediction like that is always SO helpful XD It can go lead to all kinds of scenarios XD It simply tells nothing new XD

The sky is almost turning yellow. It's raining, but the birds are flying high. Is this a sign of the thunderstorm everyone has been talking about all day? Nah. Sure, there were some signs, but I don't think it will come today. Okay, I'm not a weather-(wo)man so don't pin me on this... and where did the sun suddenly come from??!

Anyway, I had to work today; yes; on a monday. My boss was in a pinch, and I was off. I came there, and it took half an hour before I could actually start my work. I helped the guy before me a lot, and partly I expected him to help me back, and partly I didn't need the help anyway. He's my collegue and I like him (in a friendship way), so why not help someone for a change?
I also found out who would do the shift I would usually do. I can't help myself but... I SO dislike the guy! Whatever he says, I just want to disagree with me. Whatever I throw at him (sarcascm), he simply doesn't get and just laughs it off: "Haha, you haven't changed a bit!". And when he was almost ready, I told him something and he suddenly said: "And you first let me struggle and THEN say it?!" - Well, my response was: You didn't ask me. I never push my help onto someone; they have to ask me. - I don't think he liked that but hey, he's a big boy, he could have asked me for help. I was busy with my own work, and can't pay attentionto him 24/7. Plus, I dislike him, and somehow he doesn't get that hint.

Afterwards I decided it was time to buy myself an mp3 player. I had a budget set, and expected to pay a lot for something like 4 GB. And I dislike the Ipod. No offense Apple, but what is IN and a HYPE, I dislike.
Anyway, I got one of 6 GB and for half of the price of my budget. I hooked it up with my speakers, and now have 1400 mp3 songs playing. Weee! And still space left! I must check my other MP3 CD's for songs I want to put on it. I can never fit my entire music collection on it, but I can't listen to it all at the same time as well

Holy wow.... what the freak... *jumps at MP3 player* Great, I can't read the title (probably japanse font). Where the hell did that MP3 come from?! I know that song! I mean, I know the version from Thijs van Leer, that is on Bolero. But this is the one WITH text! And it's BEAUTIFUL!
Just wished I knew which song it was.... I assume one of the mp3 people send me through MSN, and which I never bothered to listen XD
*sways away*

So yeah, I spend my day working and playing with my new mp3 player. It's white, but when touched, it turns blue! Weeeee!