Well, I survived the first day of internship. Also went a lot more calmer than I expected. Less chaotic. So, no problems? Well, if you don't count 'feeling like a newbie' along, no problems indeed XD. I mean, all those kids were done playing so fast XD I never had experience with that; I mean, I know todlers, but most of the time the class can keep themselves busy for an hour; these kids can't do that yet. Plus, they hardly know any songs, plus some of them hardly know Dutch XD. So, asides that, it actually went great ^_^ All those helpfull suggestions are cool, but also a tad annoying XD I get advice from EVERY corner. I know they mean well though.
Ow well, I can try again tomorrow =D Wish me luck!
Ps. I only had 5 kids today; tomorrow I might have either 6 or 7. It's a really calm nice class =D Love the kids already!!!

Today I once again thought it might be best if I start looking for an other job. The job I have now has become incredibly heavy, and I don't think my leg can pull that shift as soon as I have to work for 100%. I know a place where I'm incredibly welcome, and it's an easy job as well, but I would make way less money there. Way, way less. So, a lot of ups and downs I have to think through, and maybe even talking about this with my group leader. I don't want to quit, but it has become incredibly heavy... and I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Another thought I finally decided, is that I'm going to postpone my Forever Young site. The reason is simple: my internship (plus, I still didn't get the requested FTP XD). At this moment, I hardly have time to keep up with the sites I have now (while I only update Serenay Moon regularly XD), and I don't think I would for Forever Young justice by giving it crappy updates.
I will continue writing, so no worries. The thing is.....I'm getting so close to the finish (and graduate for school). I'm at 75% now, and after the internship it will be 90%. I would only have reports left then. I can be finished in December. I'm so close... I can't give up now!
And even though I love Forever Young to death; school is more important at the moment. Sometimes you have to make choices. I can throw away 3 years of hard annoying work and keep 2 years of hard loved work, or just wait 1 more year and still keep my 2 years of loved work.
Maybe you think I'm overdramatic, but I'm proud of my decision.

AAAH, I WILL HAVE MY FIRST INTERNSHIPDAY ON MONDAY AND I AM SO SCAAAAAAAARED!!!!!!
Plus, I'm really hungry. Need food.

It's really happening....I'm really going to be a teacher. Today I saw how the never used old computer room was turned into a real class. Okay, it's still far from done, but....it's really a classroom....MY classroom! It will really be my little kingdom; my rules, my children, my class. I also saw some of the children. Some are plain adorable, and some are.....very silent. And half of them hardly speak Dutch XD. But it's my class!
I'll be honest: I am scared. Scared that I'm not good enough. It's really exciting and new! All the teachers are convinced I can do it; it's just me who needs to be convinced XD
I have 3 days to finish my classroom and to look in other classes to find out how things are going there. After all, I need to know what the school stands for, and how they teach there! I can't be an apple while all the others are oranges, ne?
I wished I had more time to prepare, but at least I have something. Plus, I'm getting paid. Hell, I'm getting more in 1 month than I make in half a year usually XD At least I can pay my college for next year then ^_^
I can save money again.
I think I really like working as teacher XD just 5 months as a teacher.... Spicey, it will really be spicey, but I'll make it. Biggest problem is going to bed in time XD

Sleep well you all!!!!

I learned on school that people only pick on other people if they have a frustration, and can't confront their original frustration. So, what I was wondering today... what frustrated those Telefone Sellers to make such a fool out of me? Oh, no worries, they only laughed at me, at everything I did.
They also overheard a joke I shared with my collegues at work. They usually play a game/ competition where they use a rubber band to shoot over a bottle or so. On my way out, one of them hit the bottle, and I put it upside again. I joked with them: 'Cool of me huh? That I am so great I can place a bottle back on his feet?' The guys from worked laughed along with me, but downstairs those same Telefone Sellers had overheard it, and whined: 'Oo! That's so cool you can place a bottle back!'
I've had enough with the insults, and didn't even look at them when I said carelessly: 'Yeah, and that's why I got my VWO Diploma.'
(On High School, you can get various diploma's for graduation. VWO is the highest level. So, I actually said to the guys that they probably thought I was brainless because I was working as a mail deliverer, but that I was way brighter then they were.)
And the result?
Utter silence from their side.
VICTORY!

One of my last days that I could sleep long.... And this is what happened:

*finally dozing off after the dogs started barking, and being home alone*
= RING =
*jumps out of bed and rushes at the phone*
Me: With Kitty Ocean
Friend of Mom: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Is your mom home?
Me: *annoyed; HER again!* No, she's not.
Friend of Mom: Mm, you don't sound too awake. Did I call you awake?
Me: Yes
Friend of Mom: Well, then you just go back to your bed then, and sleep well! Oh yes, and tell your mother I'm going to wear my sweater.
Me: I will. Bye
*hangs up*
*mood drops*
Me: SHE CALLED TO TELL ME SHE'S GOING TO WEAR HER SWEATER?! WHO CARES?!

And going back to bed? That never works.
Brainless. That woman is simply BRAINLESS!

Okay, I had a sad dream. I just got called that I finally have an internship (YAY!). Problem is: usually when I get all happy-dappy, something comes and ruins my day XD. I WANNA BE HAPPY, HEAR ME?! Current mood: Has trouble believe she has an internship!

For the second time in 2 days I have a dream I remember clearly. The first was supposed to be scary (while it was not), but the second was so so sad.
I dreamed that I had organised a vacation and that my best friends came. One guy came as well, and all my friends loved him. Each time he messed up, I pulled him out of trouble. The result? They forgot to take me along on the train, and when I pulled him out of trouble, I got punished myself. While I was stuck cleaning a huge building because of his mistake, my friends didn't even came along. I felt betrayed, especially by that friend. Later on, they suddenly announced that building had a new owner. It happened to be my friend. I was relieved of my punishment, but actually after the yay hug, he left me alone again. I've never felt so alone in my dreams before. And it was all so one sided, because of course my friends had tried to help me (after all, he became owner of the building), and the guy was indeed looking for me (he just couldn't find me), but I still felt so sad and alone. He didn't even show up when I needed him most in my dream. And a happy end? Well, eventually he found me, but in my dream it felt like he was too late with everything, and that he didn't care about me at all.
So no... not really a happy end in my dream.
Dreams sucks.

But if you excuse me, I have to kick an Art teacher for someone right now. Plus to wait for a very important phone call.

What an interesting day today was. I dreamed that when I went to work, that I didn't have to work, because there was a national day off for mail deliverers XD Too bad that didn't come true when I reached my work in reality XD Oh well, can't have everything. I took my time for my work, and was earlier done then expected. Still, I have to practise a lot to get faster. One day I'll have to do the entire work all by myself, and if I keep this speed, I won't be able to make it.
There also was quite some wind today. Strangely enough my heavy bags kept me in balance on my bike XD. When I just started delivering, I noted a plastic 'for sale' sign on a window in one of the condo's. I think the size is about a metre high and 75 centimetres wide, and shaped like a traingle. One side is open, and it's stuck to the window with those suction thingies.
I already heard the wind raging aside that thing. I thought: 'Mm, that the wind hasn't already blown it off.' The wind had the strength of a small soft storm (can break branches of trees) and between the high flats, it's even harder. I put the last envelope in the box from that piece, looked up, and saw that freaking sign coming at me! As a reflex, I raised my only free hand and..... well, let's just say a cursed for about half a minute because my wrist hurted like hell. Yes, that thing hit me. I tried to return that darn thing, but the wind blew it out of my hands and into a pond. My sweet poor wristy T_T. Oh well, I survived, as well as my wrist.
Oh yeah, and the wind almost blew me from my bike when I had delivered all the mail O.o I guess I needed the weight to the bags!!!

I'm quite sad now. My heart is already sad because of what happened in Asia. But now, I got a mail about my site Tsunami. A very inappropriate titel at this moment, I agree, but what stung me more was: 'because you're a Dutchy, you probably don't give a shit about what happened in Asia'. I made my site in November; how was I supposed to know a Tsunami would come in December? Plus, I'm a water lover. I always see the beauty AND the destruction that lies in the water.
The girl didn't demand I changed the name, but she did ask for a notice telling I'm not affiliated with Asia. Why would anyone call their site Tsunami now? I decided to keep the name; to help me remember what happened.
And that I don't care? Then why do I feel sad when I talk to my sister and a friend of mine? My friend couldn't find his friend that lives there. Fortunately he was on vacation that day. My sister had a collegue who went there to burry his brother around the 20th of December. He's now back, after burrying the rest of his family.
I wished I could do more than donate money. All small things help; that was proven yesterday. We raised, the Netherlands as a whole, 115 million euro's.
Even though Asia is very far away from us, and even though we're a small country... we do care. You don't need to tell us about water disasters (1953).
Why would anyone think I wouldn't care about Asia? I don't need to prove myself... but I wonder who thought this more through. That girl, who mailed me, or me.

I know my mom. What's outside this country, doesn't really bother her. Yes, she thinks everything is all very sad, but it doesn't really affect her. What happened in Asia did affect her. My mom is being affected by something that doesn't apply to her at all. At one side I'm very happy, at the other side I'm sad because my mom is sad...
Anyway, we also talked about the nice humans in those regions. While all the bad humans try to help everyone, the good humans steal children (some children have suddenly dissappeared), and rape women and young girls (please not, this is sarcasm; it should be the other way around!) I can't believe humans are capable of doing such terrible things! Thousands of people died, and heck, who cares, let's rape the women and steal the children! MAY THOSE PEOPLE ROT IN HELL! Those children will probably be used as slaves, put into mines, or used for illegal adoption. Or even worse: prostetution. Sick, sick people. And sick, sick people for taking them in, or visiting them. And those who adopt? USE YOUR BRAINS! I understand it's hard not being able to have children, or that you are not allowed to adopt one on the legal way, but these children probably still have parents! You're hurting parents so you can become a parent yourself!
I pray you children will be safe... or that you can escape.
And I also pray that those child-thieves will die. I usually don't really hate people, but those who steal children have no right to live at all. May your body slowly rot away....
Also, to end this funny: The netherlands has already gathered around 50 million euro; that's about 60 dollars or so? Anyway, that has all been brought up by normal people; hardly any companies or the government. And then, what did mister bush say? 'Mmm, We'll be generous and donate 35 million dollars!'. Oh, how funny that even the government thought that was way too little. Now it's 350 million dollars.
There will come a special account soon on my dad's work, that promised to double every amount of money that will be donated there. I will donate there. Because what happened... I have no words.
But I'm glad to see how this unites humans; all skin colours and nationalities together. It just proves we can all help each other.
I'm proud to be human.

SAVE ME FROM STUPIDITY!!

I'm at school making a report, and I even gathered all information so that all we actually have to do is limited to copy and paste. But noooooooo, the girls I work together with find it absolutely necesairy to do it the hard way. I could have already been home.
And then they go eat.... for more than an hour already! And they forced me to eat along! 30 minutes; okay, but more than an hour??!! WARGH!
Also, other baka girls were handy enough to loose their cellphone. When I returned it, the girl said: gosh, it fell from my backside pocket again!!! And where did she put it back into? Oh, you are so right.....

I'm at school and I actually feel my brain dripping away.......