Small things can really make your day.

Like seeing a frog with a beautiful green back.

Or

A little bird taking his first flying lesson.

I think my mentors have a wrong image of my abilities. I think they think I have 4 years of experience with teaching in kindergarten. I have 1 year of experience in kindergarten, and 4 years experience in teaching as a whole. That something can be blamed on me, is something I can understand. But a relation is a 2 way road. So yes, something can be my fault. And maybe a lot of it as well. But putting the blame 100% on me is unfair. I'm still a student, NOT the full fledged teacher they think I am.

I still love teaching and the kids, but I wouldn't mind it that much when it's all over. Working 5 days a week is simply too much for a beginner.

Why can't people accept the fact that I need help, especially after I gave clear hints that I needed it. They have been letting me swim in the dangerous sea all alone, and when it seems I'm drowning for a moment, they say: 'should have stayed out of it'. That's so unfair.

Myuu..... :( Today was not the best swimming lesson I gave ever. And one of the moms talked 'in general' about teachers, but I think I got her hint. I know, I know, not the best lesson ever.... I will do better next week. Critism makes me sad. Dunno why. I should just get over it. Learn to live with it. But if you are put down for years by your classmates, all you ever want is to be liked.
My dad says I shouldn't let it get to me. That that mom and her husband actually ONLY COMPLAIN about what they see.
But still makes me sad.

Let's try to write down happy happy thoughts:
- Endless Rain is started again (I just need to write another part XD)
- Kids were very nice today (but monday and tuesday they were pain, plus one mom thinks about not letting her kid go back before the next school year; probably because she thinks the class is too crowded.... while next year the classes will be bigger!!!)
- Forever Young Season 2 is almost finished!!! (no downside to that!!!)
- A girl asked me if I had a story in store or so, and if she could make a comic out of that (downside has yet to be found)
- I'm close to finishing another report; appearantly the most annoying one! (just need to finish 2 other parts with it as well then XD)

I really miss my friends now. They are there, some not online though, but I just... miss them. And I don't want to whine against them with my problems.

I just wished they lived in the neighbourhood.....

People don't get it, do they? In order for me to create motivation to work for school, I need people who take my side. People who say: 'Yes, it's the SCHOOL's fault but just do the best you can.' But what do I get thrown in my face at school?
'Challenges? I already found out 2 years ago this school doesn't offer challenges.'
'Me? I'm almost done!'
'I'm doing great!'
'Motivation is something this school doesn't give, it is something you need to create yourself.'

True, you need to create motivation on this school yourself. But what I also need, is some freaking people at school who support me!! All I get to hear is how far THEY are and how great THEY are doing. I need support dammit!
Not just from my friends, from school as well! My mom supports me, but my dad doesn't show support at all. My mom says he does support me, but I just don't see it!

I need freaking support to get this college done before November!
And what I get is nothing! I just get some support from my best friends, but from nobody else. And I need more!

We musn't forget. We mus't forget it. 60 years ago World War II ended for the Netherlands. And even though it's a long time ago, and that only 20% of those who lived then are still alive now... we may not forget what it is to have freedom...

If I won't forget it, I will tell everyone through this blog how my 2 days with Togepi were. We made Sushi (terribly failed XD) and Tamagoyaki (yum!). When her train left, I suddenly felt so sad again.... I always feel sad if I have to say good bye to a friend...