WTF?! Blogger, what the hell did you do with my layout?! Adding a row to your stupid banner?! HOW DARE YOU?!
I did not mess up. The lesson went fine. However, my college and my mentor wonder if I will be able to be ready after I graduate. I might even have to find a new school to do the final part. Just because college is messing up again.And I honestly don't have the energy to fight it anymore. I shall get my diploma, that is the only thing I shall keep on fighting for, but everything else.... I just don't give a damn about that any more. When I'm done, I don't want to have anything to do to that school any more. I might even decide never to become a teacher, just because of all this backstabbing.And no, sueing won't work. Because then it will be one student who tells an entire college is failing. I don't have that money, and also not the energy to try and fighting this hopeless battle against stupidity. And from stupidity, you honestly can't win.
Oh, and all that good willed advise like: "But what is 6 months on a human life?" and "We don't want you to quit a year after you started working" is not what I need any more. Stupid college already robbed about half a year of my life, and it shall be a year by June/ July. Also, compairing me with students who are already doing 8 years for this 4-year-education is NOT a good thing.
I am willing to go the distance. Heck, I'm already going that distance! I now need others who are willing to go that distance.
Because Damnit, I shall graduate this year! I'm working my ass of an it should get repaid! I want that stupid piece of paper and be FREE.
And if my any change my college reads this... how dare you reading this?! This is private; for me and my friends! But since you read this then: let's go and sit around the table. And throw all the cards on the table. Be completely honest to each other. And then you honestly tell me: Do you want me to graduate or not??! I'm working my ass off, and you are saying you are, but why am I not seeing any change then??!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I was pretty sad today, while I had no reason to be sad. Okay, Miss Twinkle and Miss Make Up Kit both were busy with their last essays, while I still have 7 to go. It feels like everyone around me is going so fast.... and I feel like going so slow. Means I will be going to school tomorrow again. Ow well. I cannot be compaired to an other, yet I keep on doing it. And that meeting I had today was again completely focused on me. I hate it when the focus is on me, and that focus is negative.
But was that a reason to be sad? I mean, that annoying essay about Gymnastics was signed off, and I got A FREAKING A+ ON MY ESSAY FOR ART AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOOO HAPPY BECAUSE I NEVER SUSPECTED THAT BUT I DID GET THAT A+ AND I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY
Yeah, and worked on one of the last 7 essays. And treated myself on new drawing books.
Okay, so Elfquest - The Discovery 1 hadn't arrived yet at my local comic shop. Even though they suspected it would today. That's not a reason to be sad. They said they had ordered 50 of them, and that I could be rest assured that I would get my hand on 1 copy.
And then I got an MSN message that a certain girl said she would call me. Wouldn't be so special if it wasn't for the fact a complete OCEAN between us. I'm so excited, but also soooooo nervous I would mess up. I always mess up XD I'm an idiot.
So, why am I still feeling a tad sad?
Crap, must be because I'm tired again XD Being tired makes me sad. I should get to bed earlier XD
BECAUSE I HAVE NO REASON TO BE SAD!
Also, that girl telling me she would call me soon.... that already so made my day.
You're one of my best friends Nanashi!
But was that a reason to be sad? I mean, that annoying essay about Gymnastics was signed off, and I got A FREAKING A+ ON MY ESSAY FOR ART AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOOO HAPPY BECAUSE I NEVER SUSPECTED THAT BUT I DID GET THAT A+ AND I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY
Yeah, and worked on one of the last 7 essays. And treated myself on new drawing books.
Okay, so Elfquest - The Discovery 1 hadn't arrived yet at my local comic shop. Even though they suspected it would today. That's not a reason to be sad. They said they had ordered 50 of them, and that I could be rest assured that I would get my hand on 1 copy.
And then I got an MSN message that a certain girl said she would call me. Wouldn't be so special if it wasn't for the fact a complete OCEAN between us. I'm so excited, but also soooooo nervous I would mess up. I always mess up XD I'm an idiot.
So, why am I still feeling a tad sad?
Crap, must be because I'm tired again XD Being tired makes me sad. I should get to bed earlier XD
BECAUSE I HAVE NO REASON TO BE SAD!
Also, that girl telling me she would call me soon.... that already so made my day.
You're one of my best friends Nanashi!
Friday, January 06, 2006
Has been a while since I last posted... Happy New Year! Right now I'm at school, and strangely enough, I always feel like my braincells are dying out here. It might have to do with chattering make up boxes (aka students) and playing games that make the annoying sound of frogs. Right now I'm one assignment away from finishing another essay (WORSHIP ME), but I so need a break.
Let's see...
Last time I posted was 27th of December 2005. A Tuesday. Ah, now I remember. The 28th I was with my mom to the zoo. It was COLD! It was filled with small inconviences; not understanding people and all... and that made me down. So, I came home, and even though I had a wonderful day, I was depressed. *sigh* And OF COURSE that always results in me telling my friends I'm depressed which makes them sad. Egocentrical ***** I am...
Anyway, the 29th was a Thursday. I think I went shopping with mom for an hour. Figures, in THAT hour Demitri's package came *sigh*. I believe I bought stuff again; can't recall though. I always buy stuff. I think.
The 30th, a Friday, Mom picked up Demitri's package and I went all heppie deppie. He gave me wonderful gifts; spoiling me once more! And what does he say then: I should give you more!
HELLO?! HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THAT PACKAGE?! It was HUGE! And I had LOTS of gifts!
Still, MY package to Demitri STILL hasn't arrived. I will file in a request for an official investigation. It seems my package... got lost T_T
Anyway, the 31st of December... and I had to work! Boohoo! I came at work and someone said: 'hey Kitt, this will be all!'. I looked at my small stack of mail. "Ehm... when will the rest arrive?" - 'Not at all.' I went in almost complete panic. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS WAS ALL?! There is ALWAYS more!
I managed to fit ALL my mail, which is 2 blocks, in my two bags. I managed to take ALL along in only one ride... Holy freak.... Not only that, I was done one hour earlier. Okay, so it was slippery because of the wet snow, but hey, can't have it all.
Celebrated New Year's Eve with my parents, made a last drawing of 2005 and watched fireworks from my (to be) new room. I also saw some youngsters who were being very... well, I just KNEW something would go wrong. And I was right: they threw fireworks into the house across the street. Immediately my dad and I checked for fire, but luckily, there was none and the owners had taken their dog along as well.
Can you image what could have happened? In the first scenario, the dog would be terrified of fireworks forever. In the WORST scenario, it would involve a dog thinking: HEY, what is THAT on the doormat? Is it edible? and then BOOM. It has happened before.
Youngsters. I'm so glad I was always responsible.
Anyway, New Year came, and I started to work for school again. Holy Freak, I have a team to work with. THAT'S a first.
And, a lot of my days had been filled with selfishness and depression, where I dragged all my friends into.
Mm, I should be glad I have one friend who doesn't understand hints and can't read between the lines... somehow he never realised I was sad and wanted to hear I was wanted. But at least he didn't get sad because of my stupid depressions.
Yes, I often have stupid depressions. It should be over after May, you know, when I've hoped to graduate. Or at least a lot less.
But at this moment, school makes me braindead.
Kill school.
I rather work at home.
Let's see...
Last time I posted was 27th of December 2005. A Tuesday. Ah, now I remember. The 28th I was with my mom to the zoo. It was COLD! It was filled with small inconviences; not understanding people and all... and that made me down. So, I came home, and even though I had a wonderful day, I was depressed. *sigh* And OF COURSE that always results in me telling my friends I'm depressed which makes them sad. Egocentrical ***** I am...
Anyway, the 29th was a Thursday. I think I went shopping with mom for an hour. Figures, in THAT hour Demitri's package came *sigh*. I believe I bought stuff again; can't recall though. I always buy stuff. I think.
The 30th, a Friday, Mom picked up Demitri's package and I went all heppie deppie. He gave me wonderful gifts; spoiling me once more! And what does he say then: I should give you more!
HELLO?! HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THAT PACKAGE?! It was HUGE! And I had LOTS of gifts!
Still, MY package to Demitri STILL hasn't arrived. I will file in a request for an official investigation. It seems my package... got lost T_T
Anyway, the 31st of December... and I had to work! Boohoo! I came at work and someone said: 'hey Kitt, this will be all!'. I looked at my small stack of mail. "Ehm... when will the rest arrive?" - 'Not at all.' I went in almost complete panic. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS WAS ALL?! There is ALWAYS more!
I managed to fit ALL my mail, which is 2 blocks, in my two bags. I managed to take ALL along in only one ride... Holy freak.... Not only that, I was done one hour earlier. Okay, so it was slippery because of the wet snow, but hey, can't have it all.
Celebrated New Year's Eve with my parents, made a last drawing of 2005 and watched fireworks from my (to be) new room. I also saw some youngsters who were being very... well, I just KNEW something would go wrong. And I was right: they threw fireworks into the house across the street. Immediately my dad and I checked for fire, but luckily, there was none and the owners had taken their dog along as well.
Can you image what could have happened? In the first scenario, the dog would be terrified of fireworks forever. In the WORST scenario, it would involve a dog thinking: HEY, what is THAT on the doormat? Is it edible? and then BOOM. It has happened before.
Youngsters. I'm so glad I was always responsible.
Anyway, New Year came, and I started to work for school again. Holy Freak, I have a team to work with. THAT'S a first.
And, a lot of my days had been filled with selfishness and depression, where I dragged all my friends into.
Mm, I should be glad I have one friend who doesn't understand hints and can't read between the lines... somehow he never realised I was sad and wanted to hear I was wanted. But at least he didn't get sad because of my stupid depressions.
Yes, I often have stupid depressions. It should be over after May, you know, when I've hoped to graduate. Or at least a lot less.
But at this moment, school makes me braindead.
Kill school.
I rather work at home.
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