Oh, today was... well, let me start at the beginning. I was a bit ticked off because I had forgotten to take something along, but the rest of the day went great. The kids listened great, and the kid who was thought to not know any dutch language at all, said 2 entire sentences to me today. Okay, in broken Dutch, but I understood her! Her family migrated from Iraq a couple of years ago. I don't know when actually.
But anyway, at 3 pm, the class had ended and I brought the children outside to meet their parents. Suddenly a nanny came to me asking where one of the children was! Turned out that one of the children in my class was missing! The nanny went hysteric, and everyone looked for the child. Turned out the child was confused and went to the after school programme (he also has that one some days). Since this was the first time I actually lost a child, I was terrified what that nanny would say to me. I apologised and burst into tears, telling her how sorry I was and that it would never happen again! When she saw how shocked and frightened I had been as well, she embraced me and told me it was not my fault. Everyone else told me it was not my fault; small children can be very slippery and I saw the child running away. Children only run at something when they recognise it (like a mom). And since all had gone well, I wasn't blamed at all. I also got, as a bonus, all kinds of stories how other teachers once lost children. 'It happens to all of us, and that's scary, but don't worry, 9 out of 10 times everything turns out okay. They are usually not far away.'
Yes, it did turn out okay, but I'm still shaken. This is the first time I lost a child. Thank goodness he was found back. He's only 4 years old! I was responsible, no matter how often they say it was not my fault. I'm already overprotective by nature, but from now on, kids are not allowed to leave me until I see their parents myself!! I don't want anything like this to happen again. The nanny forgave me, and everyone else did.... it's just me who needs convincing now XD I do not feel like a failure; I still think I'm capable of teaching class. But I'm terrified it will happen again....

And that on my second day of work....