My feelings are in great paradox. I want to tell you what happened last night, and at the same time simply forget it. But, it's best that I do talk about it.
Last night I was walking in the parc, walking the dog I'm babysitting. I saw a man with a little kid and we started talking. It began about the name of the dog and it kinda ended with... well... If I was ever intrested, he would show me 'things'. You can figure out what I mean I guess.
I tried to get out as soon as possible, trying to stay polite as well, because of several reasons. He already had tapped my breast a few times. And, the main reason was that he kept on talking about sex and practically gave me a lecture on how, when, what etc!
When I finally managed to get out, he touched my lips with his fingers. I can still feel it. I walked home as fast as possible, with a big circle of course. At home, I called the police, crying.
Actually not knowing why, but they immidiately send 2 cops. 1 of the cops turned out to be a guy I've had swimming lessons with. They brought me to the police station (in a police car! Doesn't drive that bad...) and called a special person for me.
That woman came, about half an hour later, and we talked about what happened. She wrote down a lot, and told me she would consult a colleage. She wanted to know if it already happened before.
Today I was called again. If I wanted to press charges (is that the expression) against harrasment (spelling?). I asked if that had any use; I would never be able to give a possible ID for that guy.
They said, that if they happened to find that guy, it would be better if they had 2 cases then 1. I agree actually, and who knows what he might do to other girls! So, tomorrow I will go to the policestation again.
They are so nice to me.
A couple of years I walked in the mall and a guy kept on asking if I wanted to come home to drink coffee- he would even have cake! I drove on my bike home crying...
That night my dad took me to the police. It might have been an attempt to kidnapping... but why me?! I'm not Miss Universe Material?
And EWH!, why would I do 'the you-know-what-stuff' with a total stranger!?
Yet, my feelings are in paradox. I'm not that scared to get back to the parc, but I don't want to get back there either. I don't feel harrassed, but I do feel very dirty. I don't want to do anything, yet I want to do things. I don't want to be alone... yet I know I'm safe.
I want my parents. First time home alone, and this happens. First time I'm babysitting a dog on my own, and this happens.
I'm so confused, upset, and yet very cold at the same time. I feel nothing, yet I feel a lot.
I'm in a deep paradox. I hope I can update friday... I know all will understand, and those who don't, should get brains.
Sorry to all. I'm just so confused.