Sad dreams...

I had a sad dream last night; one that really makes me think if I want to apply at the position they have open at work.

I dreamed that there was going to be a fieldtrip, mixed with a competition. I was completely chaotic, forgetting a lot of stuff. I also had an argument with little kids, because I yelled at them. They had deliberately thrown a ball onto a busy street, knowing my dog would follow. Luckily, nothing happened to my dog (and luckily it was a dream!)

Anyway, we left by bike, a colleage and me. When I look up to a person, or when I like being with someone, I sometimes tend to cling. I try to give them some space, but appearantly, the space I gave my colleage was not enough. I overheard her complaining to other colleages that someone was totally clinging to her. I hoped she wasn't talking about me... even gave her more space... but I still got a letter from her, where she expressed her discontent with me...

"So, you were talking about me after all..." I whispered, folding the note and putting up a smile. "That's okay. I understand."

But my smile was fake and I knew I wasn't welcome in the group any more. On a silent moment, I packed my bags and wanted to leave, until I met a friend, who was part of another team. I cried when I told him I had to leave; I didn't want to ruin the fun for the others. He insisted I had to stay, or had to join his team. He didn't want me to leave!
I was determined the leave, so my friend stole my bike key and told me to wait. Since my bike wouldn't move without that key, I had to wait... and when he came back, he told me had had told his team he had to help out a friend and had to quit the team.

"Now we'll be a team together!"

Not much later, another friend joined us; he too quit the team when our mutual friend had quit. I think he quit because the other one quit, not because of me XD But the three of us were now a team... We had to solve puzzles, get items...

While I felt bad about what my team had done to me, I was happy these two boys were there for me. We had fun, but I kept on worrying they wouldn't have as much fun as when they would have been with their teams...

And when I woke up, I worried I had clinged to those boys too much, when I had last seen them. They too have lives and friends... but when I see them, I actually want them to pay attention to me. I like them so much... they are such dear friends...

But part of me wonders if they see me like that as well...